Keheranan (semi) permanen

Hari ini gw heran menyaksikan seseorang berusaha "sangat keras" memenuhi suruhan bosnya. Bukan apa2, "orderan" tersebut di luar konteks kewajibannya sebagai karyawan, alias urusan pribadi. Ditambah lagi cara bos yg kurang simpatik saat menyuruh "pekerjaan" tersebut. Awalnya gw pikir dia mau do the best whatever the order. Tapi, lebih2 gw terheran heran saat melihat dia langsung menyuruh orang lain dengan meniru cara bosnya yg kurang simpatik itu, padahal kali ini untuk urusan pekerjaan. Yg ada gw jadi bingung. Apa karna dia (sering) diperlakukan tidak simpatik, sehingga pada saatnya dia bisa "ngerjain" orang lain dengan "membalas" cara yg diperlakukan kepadanya? Padahal jelas2 pada situasi yg sama dia mengeluhkan cara yg kurang simpatik tersebut.

Ini semata2 revenge atau human survivor instinc alias = natural?

Kadang gw bertanya, apakah ini yg harus kita "tanggung" dari cerita2 jaman penjajahan kakek nenek kita - atau mungkin kakek/nenek buyut. Gak keren banget kan setelah 61 tahun (katanya) merdeka. Orang2 seumuran gw tentunya tidak pernah berada dalam penjajahan dalam arti kolonial. Kadang gw mau mengambil kesimpulan, mungkin sangking terbiasanya dengan mental dijajah ditambah lagi seringnya pengalaman tak berdaya oleh "penjajahan" orang lain, apakah itu membuat seseorang menganggap bahwa ia boleh juga menjajah orang lain yg tidak berdaya? Tentunya itu HANYA bisa dilakukannya saat punya "kekuasaan". Gitu yah? *mode heran on*

Pffffff, apakah keheranan ini semi permanen, sebab kog rasanya cukup sering gw dalam kondisi terheran2 model beginian dan kayak gak belajar deh dari pengalaman. Mungkin kalo gw bisa menerima dengan lapaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnngggggggggggg dada pengalaman2 selama ini dan menganggapnya sebagai guru terbaik, gw gak harusnya seheran hari ini, dan gak harus heran kenapa saat ini banyak orang2 yg "powerful" dan semena2.

Ah, gw gak mau larut dalam keheranan gak penting ini... hehehe...

Get away from heran gak penting itu, hari ini gw berkenalan dengan beberapa tetangga yg tinggal sekompleks. Kami bertemu di kelas aerobik (cieee...). Ada wanita asal Serbia yg telah menetap 4 bulan di Indonesia dengan suami dan anak perempuannya, ada wanita setengah baya Chinese asal Beijing yg sudah menetap 7 tahun, dan seorang wanita cantik asal India yg ayah ibunya sudah menetap lama. Berkenalan dengan mereka membuat gw mempunyai rasa heran yg menyenangkan, yaitu betapa semakin connectednya bumi ini dalam "dunia" gw. Bayangkan, kami berempat tidak mempunyai bahasa yg sama. Hanya saling pengertian untuk mendengarkan bahasa Inggris dengan logat yg berbeda2 dan terkadang terpatah2, we're connected. Waktu kecil gw dah cukup terheran2 ada teman yg rumahnya jauh dari sekolahan. Ternyata waktu gw SMA, giliran ada seorang teman gw yg terheran2 dengan rumah gw yg menurut dia di ujung bumi - hiper banget yak padahal masih sama2 di Jakarta tuh - emang sih rumah gw di Cengkareng sementara sekolah di Lapangan Banteng :-). Then, one day gw juga pernah terheran2 bisa mewujudkan impian masa kecil untuk bisa berada di suatu tempat yg jauh banget dari tanah air beta dan waktu itu cuman jadi hapalan mata pelajaran IPS tentang negara2 di dunia... hehehe...

Ini keheranan yg gw mau jadi permanen. Dengan menyadari bahwa this world is unlimited, that really makes me live.

Post ke 100

Hmmm, menyenangkan ini postingan ke 100 sejak gw punya blog ini. Buat gw, artinya gw dah meluangkan 100 kali untuk menuliskan apa yg ingin gw tulis di sini, dan itu merupakan suatu kemajuan buat gw :-)

Minggu ini sangat menyenangkan. Banyak kebetulan2 yg terjadi dan terbukti bukan sekedar kebetulan. Gw percaya things happen for a reason, tapi saat banyak hal yg terjadi di sekeliling gw tanpa disengaja dan semuanya berhubungan dengan sangat baik, hmmm senangnya.

Dimulai hari selasa yl, gw terima pemberitahuan untuk melaksanakan transaksi di balikpapan hari kamis. Harusnya ini terjadi minggu lalu, tapi berhubung ditunda2 jadinya gw belum beli tiket. Gw gak menyangka (alias gak kepikiran juga) kalo minggu ini penumpang pesawat banyak. Menurut pegawai Garuda, banyaknya penumpang diperkirakan berhubungan dengan dimulainya bulan Ramadhan. So, gw merasa beruntung banget bisa dapetin tiket, walaupun baru hari Selasa jam 13.45 gw mendapatkan jawaban positif atas waiting-list gw.

Hari Rabu gw juga merasa beruntung karna Jl.H.Rasuna Said gak semacet yg gw kira, jadinya malahan gw kudu nunggu 2 jam di airport. Tapi waktu menunggu itu sama sekali tidak masalah, kebetulan di Periplus Terminal2 CGK gw mendapatkan novel gak-terlalu-baru-tapi-gw-belum-baca R.Ludlum (judulnya Ambler Warning). Jadi yah gw bisa menikmati waktu menunggu dengan menyenangkan, walaupun seperti yg seringkali sudah terjadi, Garuda telat lagi. Huuuuuuhh.

Sampai di Balikpapan, dengan setia Yanti telah menjemput gw di airport. Lalu, lagi2 gw consider sebagai beruntung bisa ngedapetin hotel dengan harga promo walaupun tadinya dibilang penuh. Kami makan di bubur ayam langganan dan waktu Yanti nanya apa gw merasakan ada yg beda dengan Balikpapan sejak gw tinggal kira2 dua minggu yl, gw menjawab enggak... hehehe.

Hari Kamis lagi2 gw diuntungkan... Hesti meminjamkan mobilnya. Ini membuat gw senang karna memang banyak urusan yg harus gw lakukan hari itu dan tentunya keberadaan mobil sangat menolong. Juga, ini mengukuhkan arti pertemanan yg beberapa waktu yg lalu sempat gw bingung, tapi kesimpulan gw tetep sama, A true friend is indeed a friend in need.

Dan malamnya bertemu dengan kolega2 dan teman2 di Balikpapan, yah ada senangnya ada juga gak senangnya, tapi yah memang kudu begitu kan. Senangnya yah pertukaran cerita, senyum cemerlang teman2, kita saling tertawa dan bercanda sambil makan yamin tentunya. Gak senangnya karna selalu ada aja yg berkomentar gak perlu. Tapi, untungnya banyakan cerita senangnya... whadeday!

Hari ini senang juga. Dimulai di pagi hari di kelas yoga, gw ketemu sama kakaknya teman lama di Bandung. Langsung deh ngobrol2 dilanjutkan dengan nelpon teman tersebut. Hari gw lanjutkan dengan mengajar. Pengalaman mengajar hari pertama ini penuh deg2-an, untungnya semua bisa berjalan dengan baik. Lalu selesai mengajar, gw kursus bahasa perancis, rame deh teman2 kursus gw, gw merasa ini bukan kebetulan kalau kami sekelas. Topiknya pun lucu hari ini yaitu tentang "escort-boy"... hahaha... hiburan diskusi akhir pekan. Malamnya gw jjm rame2 ke mal dan kebetulan lagi bertemu dengan seorang teman. Sungguh, kebetulan2 yang menyenangkan di hari2 belakangan ini.

How much we needed some little bit of faith to hold on to
When it seems like everything we believed in is about to sleeve away
(quoted from "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants").

Special thank for
Yanti, Hesti, Evi, Nenny, JC, m'Dewi, m'Nanis, Nanda, Erly, Butet, Visca.
It was you gals, I could not say thank enough for your accompany in my life's journey and y'all become that little bit of faith for me to hold on to.

E s c a p e

Last night I saw a French movie in TV5 (réalisée par Jeromé Angre mais j’oublie le titre). The story is around one family. Started by a man who met a woman he crazy in love with and let his dream to be a priest slipped away to marry her. They have one daughter and one son. His wife died young and left him deeply heartbroken. He escapes from his children by working like hell and let the daughter takes her mother role for her brother. Being a perfect father as he wanted to be becomes not longer interesting.

Times passed by then he realizes that he has nothing but him. He calls God to his frustration. He (again) escapes from his responsibilty as a father, he escapes from the "world" and live in the monastery. The daughter’s life is also miserable, by the fact that her husband is unemployed and her "obligation" to take care her daughter and also her spoiled brother who paralyzed by an accident. She escapes from herself and blaming everyone for her misfortune, but not to her father. She loves him very much. The later-be-handicapped son becomes a mean-spoiled attitude person. He has hatred to his handicap and moreover to his father who "escape from the world"; for him he was dead. He abandons an unconditional love from his girlfriend and sister. He escapes from the reality.

Weird as a French movie, this one has an ending! Just before his vow’s time, the father re-comes back to the "world" for his granddaughter’s baptism. That experience teach him an expensive lesson. Throughout several denials, at the end it is strengthen his will to be a priest in peace. The daughter decides not to give herself for everyone which indeed good for everyone. The son accepts his handicap is not a death sentence; he gets a job and has a boy! So, as I said earlier, this movie is a kind of weird French movie, it’s happy ending – although not as fancy as Hollywood’s ending.

So as yesterday, I attended a company function and found that escape is no longer unfamiliar issue. Woman escapes from the reality that she is a woman, who can fall in love, who can smile easily and cost nothing, who can be a mother, who can be bitchy in a charming way, who can also be professional! Nothing in between should be a conflict. Be it for the sake of career or for the sake of money. We can choose our situation but not escaping from one to another, neither from the responsibilities lying in front of us. That’s a peachy world, 'hon. Don't push that too hard!

There is some woman who does think that we have to be a superwoman. I know some of them. I would not support that idea when the definition means that we (as a woman) can do everything at the same time in expense of nobody but ourselves. "Super" is not always means tough or even perfect. I would rather be a happy flexible professional. Though loosing the opportunity to go overseas for my love ones, it's not at all at the expense of my career development, it's my conscious choice. Escape from the destiny as a woman, God helps, should never be exist in my option list.

Same thing as a working mother. Can't believe it's still a hot topic among woman. When you feel guilty working and leaving your kids with somebody else, then don't. It won't make any better to anyone. When you choose to work then do it profesionally. But that doesn't mean that you can escape from the responsibilities being a mother, neither an employee. Being late because of your kid suddenly have a fever - don't just leave, s/he needs you. Be there on important meetings. Murphy's law sometimes fools your nerves. Shits happens. Mistakes done. Acccept the imperfection, take it easy. There is no such perfect mother, neither perfect employee, neither perfect employer, neither perfect world. So, there is no perfect woman.

I believe whatever her state, working or not, a responsible mother knows their children at best, why?? Because she is the mother! Not because she spend more time with her kids. Though indeed helps. Quantity or quality times won't change a mother nature, we ourselves who make the definition. Other woman who thinks that a working mother abuse company rules just because she has a kid, when you know that you work hard to do your job profesionally then ignore her.

For my friends on maternity leave, there is nothing wrong at all be a working mother. My mom is a full time teacher, the only profession she worked for about 40 years. That's her choice. She choosed to move schools closer to home everytime our address changes. I can only hope someday be just like her.

For my friend who choose to suspend work to follow her husband and taking care her baby. Don't feel guilty at any expense! You know the best for you and family at this time. Just believe what you're doing. Don't escape from the reality, things will go to your turn one day. Encourage him. Love your daughter. Love to see you back happy as usual.

Though escape sometimes could be a retreat, but escaping from your own values points you nowhere but a loser.

*who will deny an Rp50.000, - to get a bunch of good channels through cable?
Welcome to the digital world!

me series

if you happen to know a person who has "almost" all of traits below, please introduce me to him/her:

Outgoing personality. Takes risks. Feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. Very revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. Big imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. In need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "Charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. Stubborn. Curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.

Some good and some bad, just to make it playful :-)

*dedicated to someone who use frequently me series shirt from Giordano.